On a Clear Day
By Dreama Vance
Cofounder of InfiniteBeing.com
I wake up at 4:30a.m. thinking, worried about my mother. She has early signs of dementia, and it is progressing…
My sister died last month and my heart is still breaking. I have cried an ocean of tears and still they come.
How can I know so much of spiritual teachings, yet hurt so badly?
I try to remember the story I heard on the radio about a family in China in the recent earthquake. A father with a son…he has lost his wife and a daughter.
They died in the quake. His son’s foot was crushed and had to be amputated. His son also has some brain damage from a head injury.
They have no home. I remember their story because it helps me put my heartache in perspective. It doesn’t make the hurt less, but it
gives me balance.
I look at the clock. It’s 4:45a.m.
“Such sorrow,” I think. Such sorrow in the world. I glance up through the skylight. It is, of course, still dark outside. The moon is only a sliver.
But the sky is full of stars. I get up to look outside through the open doorway.
The view of the sky is magical. Away from the city lights, the stars polka dot the night sky.
The air is cool, clear, and smells of pine trees. Such beauty. I feel the grandeur and the magnificence.
Such sorrow and such beauty in this world… Such sorrow and such beauty.
I turn from the doorway to start my day. It is early. I have time for meditation. Suddenly I am filled with desire to meditate.
Ah, I have been waiting for this desire, to seek communion with the Infinite.
I know there is peace there. I am not so skilled yet that I have all the answers.
But peace is there… and understanding will come.
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